Ex- England leader Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet face the full implications of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was part of the 2003 championship side and secured several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after learning he has the illness.
"There's an element of confronting what lies ahead and hesitating to really process that at the moment," he commented.
"This doesn't mean I am unaware of where it's heading. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to confront the future for now."
Moody, conversing with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "at ease" as he directs his attention to his present welfare, his family and getting ready for when the disease worsens.
"Perhaps that's trauma or possibly I process things differently, and once I have the information, it's simpler," he continued.
Initial Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some reduced power in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the problem, a number of scans revealed neural pathways in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're appropriately extremely affected about it, but it's so strange because I feel like everything is fine," he continued.
"I don't experience sick. I don't sense unwell
"The signs I have are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the hand and the shoulder.
"I remain competent to performing whatever I want. And with luck that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Disease Development
MND can advance rapidly.
According to the charity MND Association, the disease claims a 33% of people within a year and more than half within two years of identification, as eating and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only retard worsening.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," stated an affected Moody.
"It's the sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Household Effect
Talking from the family home with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by feeling when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, stating: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two brilliant boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We sat on the settee in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog bounded over and started licking the moisture off our faces, which was rather amusing."
Moody explained the priority was staying in the now.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be so militantly directed on just embracing and appreciating everything now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly fortunate that the sole choice I made when I left playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as feasible. We don't get those years back."
Athlete Connection
Professional sportspeople are unevenly affected by MND, with investigations suggesting the prevalence of the illness is up to six times higher than in the wider community.
It is thought that by restricting the air available and creating injury to neural pathways, frequent, intense physical activity can trigger the disease in those already vulnerable.
Athletic Playing Days
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in honour of his courageous, persistent approach to the game.
He played through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a training-ground scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he abandoned a training equipment and began throwing himself into tackles.
After coming on as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the rear of the set piece in the critical passage of play, setting a base for scrum-half Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning drop kick.
Support Community
Moody has previously told Johnson, who skippered England to that championship, and a few other previous team-mates about his diagnosis, but the remaining individuals will be learning his news with the rest of public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that type of affection and acknowledgment that people are present is what's important," he said.
"The sport is such a wonderful community.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even if it finished now, I've appreciated all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your passion your vocation, it's one of the most significant privileges.
"Achieving this for so extended a time with the squads that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will want to assist in whatever way they can and I await having those talks."
